To the "perfect" mom cliques. We SEE you.

I was a stay at home mommy for just over 6 years. I loved being able to be there for all the moments, all the firsts, and the feeling that I wasn’t missing out on anything. What I wasn’t prepared for was the socialization the stay at home mom has to endure for her little one.

Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not bashing early morning coffee dates (and I mean even the birds are still smart enough to be asleep), mommy and me groups (where I get to listen to stories about baby vomit, leakage, and whatever horrendous thing I just don’t want to hear aloud), and definitely not annoyed by the continuous bickering about who is doing what right verses who’s doing it wrong. Absolutely not bashing. I am, however, wondering why it’s considered something mom's should do to decompress?!

Needless to say, I didn’t last long in those atmospheres. For all intents and purposes I am an introvert. It took all the patience I had. I did my own thing. I found my own way. I had friends I could talk to. Friends I actually enjoyed the company of. It quite possibly could have been my personality that threw it all off or my impatience for things I deem unnecessary. Either way I am and never will be a fan of the typical, exclusive mommy and me groups.

Before someone wants to attack me like a wild beast please let me again reiterate that this is just my opinion. My experience. I’m sure some women love it and I say good for them!

Here’s my other huge problem with cliques or groups of any kind. You always have those two or three “perfect" mom's judging you and your child if you can even believe that’s a reality. You know who I’m talking about people. The ones with the fake smile that makes you wonder if they practices it in the mirror at night. The ones that walk right past all the other sweet, kind-hearted mom’s with their noses stuck so far up in the air you wonder to yourself “maybe they have chronic nose bleeds and that is why they hold it that way?”. The ones who walk like they are late wherever it is they go and are walking oddly and you wonder “is it possible it’s because of the stick unpleasantly stuck where the sun doesn’t shine?” Again, no sore feelings from this girl. I’m fairly chill. I am who I am and I like it that way. Here is where it goes terribly and appallingly wrong. When these women (I sincerely use that term loosely) are catty, backstabbing, and downright arrogant people who consciously choose to talk about the children of the “other" mothers behind their backs. Look…I was raised to be classy, but I do have a savage side. When did some of us become such a cruel and hateful human race?

So here is what I was once told and to this day it makes my skin crawl.

1.) Just ignore them (what in the ever loving world are you talking about ignore them)!?

2.) Don’t engage with them (no worries there at all).

3.) Realize it really isn’t about you (yeah…my 6 year old knows that. Way ahead of you there).

4.) Remind Calm (insert laughter here. Have you met me)!?

5.) Call her out (now you are speaking my language). Then, I was told to do it privately. Like a coffee date. (No! I don’t want to talk to them passing by at school so you think I’m going to waste even 5 minutes of my life buying her a coffee to explain what a tool she is)?

6.) Don’t engage with them and ignore them (uhhhhh…I just plead the fifth).

7.) Pick your battles (I don’t do drama. However, you pick on my child or any child the battle is on bless their tiny, little hearts)!

Now, I appreciated the maturity that was trying to be taken into account here . In my opinion it’s a bunch of crap. My advice would be…

1.) You do you ladies! Every child is different and special. So you find whatever parenting style works for you.

2.) Find your own group of true mom friends. Ones who will make you laugh not cry, bring you that coffee knowing you had a terrible day, and that love your children like their own.

3.) Ignore those jerks. It’s a proven fact that they act that way because they hate themselves and their lives. They are actually envious of you.

4.) Ignore them. (*Disclaimer the following is only my opinion and I do not plan on laying hands on anyone nor do I usually support violence)…Adults should know better if they talk about your child all bets are off.

5.) Also, when their children grow up, move out, and 30 years go by without a word, I think they will get their punishment.

Stay sweet, kind, and humble.